Being in love is great. Taking your relationship to the next level, even better. That idea has been on my mind a lot lately, what with several of my close friends getting married and all. However, now that I’ve just completed graduate school, I find that I’m relatively broke, and that funds towards a proper engagement ring are seriously lacking. And despite the fact that I have amazing friends willing to help me out…

letmebeyourwords: Heather wants a yellow diamond.
bordweiser: Well I’ll keep my eyes open for old ladies wearing yellow diamonds who I’d easily be able to mug.
letmebeyourwords: Aw, thanks man.

… I really can’t allow them to go to jail on behalf. So what is a guy in love to do?

Look for engagement ring alternatives, is what. There are plenty of other ring types out there that, in my fine opinion, are just as lovely and meaningful as a piece of gold with a diamond. Let’s take a look.

1. White Castle Chicken Ring – Really, nothing says I love you like a meal from White Castle. After sharing an intimate evening over a Crave Case, surprise her with that hidden sack of White Castle chicken rings you’ve had waiting on the bedside table. Slide the chicken ring onto her ring finger, but be careful! You need to be wary of hot grease. Burning your lover’s finger will certainly ruin this otherwise beautiful moment.

For added effect, eat the chicken rings with your lover, and save the last one for the special proposal. Both the act of proposing AND the act of saving the last chicken ring for her… well, let’s just say that will certainly seal the deal.

2. Telephone Ring – The art of the telephone ring proposal is truly a practice in knowing your partner. There is no physical exchange of a tangible object, just the presentation of a sound clip, about 30 seconds long, emitted from your cell phone. Be sure to download a proper ring-tone that will really express how you feel.

Recommendations include Crank Dat by Soulja Boy and Face Down Ass Up by 2 Live Crew. These heartbreakingly romantic ballads will surely win over your lover as the chorus repeats again and again from your Razr.

3. Halo Ring - The video game Halo features a giant ring floating in space that can destroy the entire universe and effectively end all life in the solar system. Explain this to her as you propose, noting that you’ll be happy to have her destroy your life anytime. Swoons are guaranteed. That not working for you? My friend in interweb blogging, Hawty McBloggy, has a handy list of Halo proposal readily available. Smash Bros Brawl also works, but loses the whole RING image.

You can also spell out your proposal using guns and weaponry inside the video game if you have the time.

4. Wrestling Ring – It is every woman’s dream to have their man dress like Nacho Libre and wrestle them down into a life long commitment. Just look at the hot nun from the film. Eyes open, mouth agape… that girl was all about it at the end. Finding a mask at your local costume shop (some here in Philly specialize in luchador masks) shouldn’t be too hard. After-all, it needs to be just right.

In addition, you’ll be blessed with loveable fat children, much like the orphans at Nacho’s commune.

5. Lord of the Ring(s) – One ring to rule them all,one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. Whisper these sweet words into your beloveds ear while handing her a sealed copy of The Fellowship of the Ring on DVD, preferably the four disc box set, because well, you love this girl, and a proposal is a serious matter.

Bonus points if you dress up like Ian McKellen as Gandalf.

… well, that’s all I’ve got. Any ring suggestions from you guys? Let’s hear ‘em.