What the ****!? Thanks Google.
Go ahead, hop over to Google and start typing in “liberal arts doctorate…” and see what happens. Jerks.
Now that I’ve almost been out of school for a year, and teaching just as long, I think I’m finally ready to start applying for PhD programs. Specifically, doctorate programs in Liberal Arts. English, literature, liberal arts in general, etc.
It’s an exciting time, and lots of schools here in Philadelphia have the sort of programs I’m looking for.
2010 should be a great year.
1. Heart of Darkness Mango Juice from Trader Joe’s? Check.
2. Dark Chocolate Cookies? Check.
3. Actual Heart of Darkness text? Check.
4. A Classroom of college students who feel like they’re in sixth grade again? Check.
Seriously, I love teaching. And yes, they actually do make Heart of Darkness juice at Trader Joe’s. Check out the label. Besides serving as a beverage for Heart of Darkness themed snack-time, it’s also my new favorite juice. Yum!
Sigh, only five more classes left in the semester. I really enjoyed teaching World Lit II over at Holy Family, as well as my wonderful students. This was my first time teaching a literature course, and they were patient with me as I learned to teach through teaching.
Looking forward to teaching World Lit I there in the Fall. Hopefully by then I’ll have my Beowulf tattoo. Woo!
The semester starts on Monday, and I’m excited. I’m teaching World Literature II at Holy Family University, and Freshmen Comp at Montgomery County College this semester. I’m a bit nervous about my World Lit class, it’ll be the first time I’ve dealt with fellow English majors. What if I end up with some brilliant literary prodigy who knows more about the Enlightenment Era then me? *panics*
I’m psyched that I get to give a guest lecture at St Joseph’s University next month. All about blogging. Apparently I’m good at that! Who knew?
me: Whoa! I’ve been invited to guest lecture at St Joseph’s University. They want me to talk about blogging in a journalism class in February.
Katie: i love how intelligent and prestigious you are suddenly.
me: Suddenly?!
Thanks Katie.
THE CAKE IS A LIE!
So I just wrapped up my first semester teaching at a college, and I’ve got to say, I feel like I’ve learned a whole lot. About teaching, myself, how to work with people… it was quite the experience.
Next semester, I’ll be back at Montgomery County College, teaching English Composition on Saturdays. I’ve also been hired at Holy Family University, where I’ll be teaching World Literature II. Very exciting!
The website was down for a while due to some ridiculous Wordpress issues. Its back and everything seems to be in working order. Thanks to everyone who missed me. I’ve just been busy with work, writing, outlining my next novel idea, and sending pitch letters to literary agents about my current book. I’ve had a couple nibbles here and there, so I’m feeling pretty good.
… and yes, that is a zombie joke on the blackboard. What can I say, I had a really fun class with some hysterical students.
Can’t wait for next semester!
Just a few pretty photos from Montgomery County Community College, the school where I’m teachng Wednesday nights. I love it. The campus is enormous and quite beautiful, with several large modern buildings and a gorgeous theater.
And to my students who are probably reading this… get back to your homework!
So recently, Montgomery County Community College out in Blue Bell, PA offered me a part time teaching gig in their English department. Needless to say, I’m incredibly excited. I’ve always wanted to be a college professor. A careful blend of Indiana Jones meets Mr. Turner from Boy Meets World.
My first class is tonight and I’m psyched. All my friends have been asking me, just how will I demand respect my first day in the classroom? Simply. I’ll karate chop a 2×4 before class starts.
As the students sit in their seats, chatting excitably to one another about their vacation, summer loves, the upcoming semester, and the like, I will quietly walk into the classroom holding a 2×4. The students will look over, puzzled, at what their soon-to-be-professor is doing. Placing the wooden plank between two desks, I will then karate chop the hell out of it. As the splinters fall onto the cold linolium floor I will sit down calmly, and begin my lecture…. or not.
Here’s hoping they like me!
Really? These are the kind of job offers my undergrad sends their graduates?
Thanks guys, I mean, I always knew my BA in English & Creative Writing was somewhat of useless degree. Thank God I’m so close to finishing my MA in English literature at Arcadia!
Just think, in three more weeks, I’ll be able to get job offers from Denny’s! Hooray!
My friends all ask me how I do it. How do I attend the wedding of an ex-girlfriend, without losing my mind or falling into a horrible depression. Really, it isn’t all that hard. As many of you know, I’ve certainly done it before, and in that one case, I was one of the groomsmen in the actual wedding ceremony.
1. Show up. Seriously, you were lucky enough to be invited. Don’t be cliche and throw away the invitation. Make sure you RSVP (I forgot) and, if you can, bring a date! Also, be sure to have some sort of notepad on hand, so you can be absolutely certain your future wedding is just as awesome, if not better.
With the case of Christina and Josh’s wedding, it might be hard to top. They had a beautiful ceremony and a really nice reception. Bravo.
2. During speeches about the bride’s past, don’t punch the people that look at you. Shut up Glen. Yeah, you’re one of those crappy relationships. Just deal with it. Don’t be that guy who makes a scene. Resist the urge to punch Glen Tickle, Stephanie Rath, Jency Thomas, Nick Solomon your caring and affectionate friends in the face. They mean well, and admit it, it’s pretty damn funny. If you aren’t ready to laugh at yourself, you probably shouldn’t be there.
3. Buy an awesome present. Let’s face it, you’re the ex-boyfriend, so chances are, you’ve got several years of horrible gifts to make up for. Remember all those stuffed animals you thought were awesome at the time? Well, they weren’t. Now is your chance to make things right.
That being said, my gift didn’t show up in time for the wedding. Classic.
4. Loosen up. Have a few drinks, especially if the bride and groom have their own custom martinis (Christini and Josh’s Juice). This will help you relax and enable you to dance to Living On A Prayer by Bon Jovi in a “small asian child having a seizure after watching too much pokemon” kind of way.
Everyone likes the Jersey guy who does that.
Everyone.
5. Say hi to the family. Remember the father who was incredibly scary and intimidating? Guess what! He still is! Be a good man, say hello, and shake hands. You can spend the rest of the day dodging them out of sheer fear and terror, with the knowledge that hey, if he does decide to cut you with a knife, at least you tried.
6. Be happy you’re still friends. Cause seriously, if you weren’t still buddies, you’d be missing out. Plus you probably wouldn’t be able to take sweet pictures like this one.
Congrats Christina. I expect to see you at me and Heather’s wedding in three years.
Few more pictures after the jump and a ton over on the ol’ Facebook.
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My debut novel comes out this Fall. You'll be able to download free audiobook podcasts 
