Not much going on over here lately. Just busy with teaching, writing, working, and playing with Rory, the new bun. Look how cute he is, exploring everything.
Rory is, of course, short for Rorschach.
What can I say? I adore Watchmen. The graphic novel, the movie, everything. And Jackie Earle Hayle’s performance in the film was just utterly moving.
Expect more photos, and of course, more videos like this one.
Seriously dude, not cool. You know how bad my OCD. Chinchillas go in the C section.
Or possibly the M section. You know, for Mittens.
With Spring semester finished, I’m finding myself with an incredible amount of free time. There is only so much time I can devote to sitting in cafes writing, so I often end up laying in bed, watching a movie on my laptop.
All of my friends and co-workers know my love for terrible movies. I’m talking straight up horrible, critically panned films. They make me laugh and feel better about myself… but afterwards, I usually realize I’ve wasted two hours of my life that I could have used to read, write some more, or play with my chinchilla.
As a result, I’ve given myself a new personal rule. Every time I watch a terrible movie on purpose I’ll have to purchase a new classical book that I haven’t read, or haven’t read since I was in high school. This rule doesn’t count if I thought the movie was going to be good, and it turned out being awful, such as The Golden Compass.
I only started doing this to myself two weeks ago, and here’s the movie watched / book purchased list so far.
Skinwalkers / The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde
Timeline / The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
PS I Love You / Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
Doomsday / The Wasteland & Other Writings by T.S Eliot
10,000 BC / The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper
I’m hooked on picking up Borders’ editions of classic books, especially because they look so nice sitting on the bookshelf.
Heather’s birthday party is coming up. Heather and I will be watching Diary of the Dead and Zombie Strippers during the course of the weekend to celebrate, since she’s seen almost every single zombie movie… except these two recent ones.
I wonder, what two books will I buy after that.
This weekend, I stopped by a passport business in Old City, Philadelphia, where I got myself fingerprinted for a Peace Corps application. I’ve never had to be fingerprinted for anything before, so this was definitely something new… and expensive. Seriously, $55? Come on. There was no work involved in fingerprinting me. Most of the labor was done by me. I even had to wash my own hands. I was not impressed.
Then, all at once, it hit me. My God, there were so many opportunities out there that I could have taken advantage of, that I will never be able to do, now that I’ve been fingerprinted. My dreams were immediately shattered, as I counted the jobs I’d no longer be able to have, with my identity and fingerprints forever captured on a governmental sheet of paper.
Jewel & Art Thief: Every time I watch some sort of thriller that involves a high profile jewel or art heist, I can’t help but yearn for that sort of life. Planning elaborate robberies involving futuristic electronics, cameras, and laptops. Developing a getaway plan using disguised vehicles or a speed boat. There’d even be some sort of sneaky plot involving the authorities, where I’d pretend I was there friend or something. You know, like Pierce Brosnan in After The Sunset or The Thomas Crown Affair (above).
International Super Spy: Who doesn’t dream of being just like Daniel Craig in the James Bond franchise? The answer… Communists. Seriously, I always felt the slight pang of envy watching any of the 007 movies. The fast cars, the awesome inventions and gadgets (supplied by John friggin Cleese!), and the high tech weapons… awesome.
And yes, the image of an awesome international agent applies only to Daniel Craig’s 007. He kicked ass, the others just talked way too much or didn’t do enough. I’m looking at you, George Lazenby.
Assassin: Now, I’m sure you can be fingerprinted and still be an assassin, there’s no doubt in my mind. You just have to be a GOOD assassin. That is exactly what I wouldn’t be. My former roommates had to deal with me playing Assassin’s Creed until the wee hours of the morning on a semi-daily basis when the game came out, and I spent most of my time assassinating innocent people and guards, running away, and getting myself killed.
So yes, number three on my list… crappy assassin.
Professional Gangster / Mobster: As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster… well, not really, but when you watch a lot of Martin Scorsese movies, you kind of want to be one for about two hours or so. Then they get shot, stabbed, or arrested for various drugs, and you immediately change your mind.
Plus, who wants to end up like Ray Liotta? I’m not talking about his character in the movie, I’m talking about him in general. Did you see In The Name of The King or Smokin’ Aces? I did, and those are four hours of my life I’ll never get back again. So this one makes number four.
Men In Black Agent: I know, you put your fingertips on that giant orb and it burns away your fingerprints. I know. I’m just too big a pansy to do that. That looks like it hurts!
That’s it!
Graduate school is almost over, applications are out for PhD programs and the Peace Corp. Wish me luck! Besides, I’d rather be more like Indiana Jones than James Bond any day.
So tour was an absolutely blast. I spent a week on the road with some amazing people. I’d like to thank the dudes in Upper Class Trash for throwing me in their van for a week, and the guys in Farewell and Forever The Sickest Kids for welcoming me onto the tour, and treating me like I’d been there the entire time. You can catch the UCT guys on tour the rest of the summer with bands like The Mile After, Rediscover, and Time & Distance.
I’d tell you who the Farewell and FTSK guys will be touring with, but I’d actually get in trouble with it. Let’s just say, I can’t wait to see them playing in front of sold out crowds and on arena tours. Good luck boys, make me proud.
Farewell’s album comes out on September 25th via Epitaph Records, and features photography from the ever talented Josh Hofer. Make sure you buy it the day it hits stores. I know I will.
This weekend I’m heading out to Pittsburgh to star in Silverstein’s music video for the single for their new record, which hits stores via Victory Records on July 3rd. The band will be robbing a bank, and I play the inside man on the heist. I’m incredibly excited, as this video is going to be on MTV, Fuse, and just about every major music video outlet in the world.
It’s being film by the guys over at Endeavor Media, who are responsible for Bayside’s amazing video for Duality, and some other favorites of mine. like Lovedrug’s video for Spiders or Tokyo Rose’s video for Spectacle.
Tour photos are coming shortly, as well as two sets of Suicide Girl photos. If you catch me on AIM, say hi. I have an eight hour train ride out to Pittsburgh tomorrow, and the same coming back at like midnight on Sunday. Note: I have to be in work at 9am that morning.
Life is exciting. See you in another week.
You’ve seen these kind of photos floating around on the internet. Some jerk spots a couple that looks like this, photographs ‘em, and then inserts some sort of degrading, yet witty, caption about their appearance.
It was essentially my fear all weekend that this was going to happen to me. Some yad00d would spot me holding hands with this goddess and snap a photo, laughing to himself about this hairy, bedraggled guy holding hands with a girl painfully out of his league.
What caption would you put under this? Mine: “How To Spot A Lucky Guy”
Or: “How To Drive Your Girlfriend Crazy With Your Camera’s Autotimer”
Heather was here, and things were wonderful. I managed to squeeze in two photo shoots with Philadelphia locals More Like The Moon and a New Jersey band called Respond. The dudes in MLTM were amazing guys, and played a rockin’ cover of Outkast’s Hey Ya for us in my apartment. Plus I mean, come on, More Like The Moon? Named after a Wilco EP? Awesome.
Respond just recorded with the famed Jesse Cannon, who has produced artists like Head Automatica, Lifetime, Northstar, Saves The Day, and Say Anything.
The weekend consisted of gelato, an amazing rooftop dinner prepared by my friend Saray, cuddling while killing some zombies, playing with butterflies, and watching the best example of a ruined trilogy since The Matrix. Heather also came along for the shoots, and she just stood by and smiled, watching me work. I mean just look at her. Could she be any more perfect?
I’ll be posting up photos from the shoots this week, as well as rambling non-stop about how much I a.) miss my heather, b.) want to go out on tour already, and c.) have too much photo work to do. Please note that the photos on MLTM and Respond’s myspaces aren’t mine. I’ll post when they are up.
Listen: Farewell, Houston Calls, The Mile After.
Watch: The Fountain.
Don’t Watch: Pirates of the Caribean III: At World’s End.
My debut novel comes out this Fall. You'll be able to download free audiobook podcasts 
